Computer Security Gifts

'I would have called you sooner, but I had no idea you handled ransomware attacks!'

'To sped up our sandbox compliance issues I've called in a couple of sandbox experts.'

"Meet the new head of security."

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'If you're concerned about privacy issues, put on some pants and close the windows.'

Clickbait

"You're asking for some pretty detailed information. Have your hackers gotten more demanding?"

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

'Mom's always telling me to look both ways, don't talk to strangers, and change my passwords.'

"Rumpelstiltskin is too long for a password!"

"But if you don't learn your letters and numbers, how do you ever expect to come up with a strong password?"

'How can he remember 37 passwords but always forget to pick his clothes up off the floor?'

Dept. of cyber friendship.

"I couldn't afford an antivirus, so I installed a sneeze guard instead."

I blame it on the system. On my last stretch I did a computer course, and now I'm in for computer fraud.

''Open Sesame' would make a great password, wouldn't it?'

'Sergeant, there's someone here who says he's holding your access codes for ransom.'

'You cheat on me and I'll find out on that wikithing!'

"I just hacked your company's website. NOW do I get the computer security job?"

'How did you guess my password is wine?'

"My mom the security expert never trusted me. She'd never tell me her maiden name."

"You've done it - you've come up with the perfect password."

"I see Sarah finally remembered her password, then. . ."

"You have been specially selected to upload your bank details. Offer ends midnight."

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

The Anti-Agent

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

UK border controls relaxed.

High security Santa's grotto

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"I brought back important data on that blue planet called Earth."

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'