Tech Security Gifts

"Just saying, if you can't trust your software upgrades, what can you trust?"

The Anti-Agent

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

UK border controls relaxed.

High security Santa's grotto

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

"I brought back important data on that blue planet called Earth."

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

"He's a guard dog."

"It's so cute when the boss brings his son to work and pretends to let him help out!"

"I see you've security marked your property."

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

Second lifeReal life.