Security Gifts

"What happened to the good old days when people just breached contracts?'

'I have the MRI scan of your brain. The right hemisphere is clogged with computer passwords.'

In Case Of Whistle-blower Break Glass.

"No doubt you're asking yourself, what are hatches? And how the heck does one go about battening them down?"

'I don't care if this security software was a bargain; it shouldn't reply with 'close enough' when I enter the wrong password.'

'The new hidden cameras will allow us to see if anyone is violating our privacy policy by reading someone else's email.'

"Oh, I forgot that you missed the meeting. Our data security team added some new protection when accessing patient data files."

Man selling Security Systems: 'If that's too expensive for you, perhaps I could interest you in a false sense of security.'

The Fort Knox Gold Depository has a key under the mat

Taxicab security.

Watching The Watchers.

'Can't say. It's private.'

"Oh, we used to use a crystal ball, but hacking into your credit files is much more informative!"

"They're fake. Part of the new false sense of security system."

'I don't know who those Cybers are, but I'm ready for their attack!'

'It's a foolproof computer network, sir, that no one can break into, not even a kid.'

"I don't want to alarm anyone, but our cybersecurity team told us to be on the lookout for deepfakes."

'That's our head of security.'

ATM. To verify you are who you say you are, stick head through hole.

You are Here. We know where you've been.

'He's in charge of shredding documents.'

"A hacker logged into my fitness tracker and stole all my steps."

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

"What do we do with all this data we collect on you? Sorry, that's privileged information."

"Call it excessive if you like, but none of our guests have ever pinched anything..."

'Hello, Mr. Thomas! We noticed you've recently been mugged! Hey, there's no better time than now to consider purchasing our identity theft protection insurance!...'

"Joe, is that you? Can you really hear me? What's the password for the email?"

"...This one comes with the latest security devices...'

A man realises surveillance cameras are on him at the urinal.

Smaller safes inside bigger safes.

"To verify you are the person who answered the phone, May I have your social security number and a major credit card."

'Although most people think of it as something new, keyless entry technology has actually been around for hundreds of years!'

'These symbols are indecipherable. I think these must be the precursors of CAPTCHAS.'

'Relax! It's you!'

'I'm very concerned about the surveillance society.'