Security Measures Gifts

'It's nothing personal, we just like to secure our intellectual property, each evening.'

'It is part of the security upgrade.'

ACME Armored Truck.

'I don't have a lock! I hate to leave my bike unlocked overnight!'

'You can't be too careful these days, mother.'

The Anti-Agent

UK border controls relaxed.

High security Santa's grotto

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"He's a guard dog."

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

"I see you've security marked your property."

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

The Scanner Of Love.

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

"Beware of Don"

Death to the Extremists

Scarecrows guarding a field

Moulin Rouge Security

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

A Little Extra

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

The Best Defense

Mou...Man trap!

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

"We've been cancelled."

Workers are running out of one door labeled 'Reactive Business Intelligence,' while another worker in the next room sits calmly behind a door with a sign that reads, 'Proactive Business Intelligence.'

Big finger print trying to forge a cheque but he can't.