Security Specialist Gifts

'It's nothing personal, we just like to secure our intellectual property, each evening.'

"...This one comes with the latest security devices...'

'For your convenience, I now accept debit cards.'

'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'

"You think they all look like security risks."

'The advantage of a bomb sniffing cat? If he sets one off, he still has at least 8 more assignments in him.'

Huffison never discovered the source of security leaks within his company.

'Ed, see if you can find out why Henderson, Morgan and Caldwell are building a moat around their building.'

"My dad works in surveillance."

'My masters have upgraded the security system: There's a ten-digit passcode on the cat-flap now...'

"I see you've security marked your property."

"He's not the elephant in the room. He's the elephant that never forgets all the computer passwords."

Forgot your locker combination? Let Sammy the weasel pick it open for you!

'Your security system works too well!'

'What makes you think our office is bugged?'

"The boss requires you to wear an ankle bracelet so he knows where you're at at all times."

"Your call may be monitored by the CIA, NSA, Russians, Chinese, space aliens..."

"Good evening sir. Could I interest you in one of our latest security devices?"

"Integrating facial recognition with our metadata means we'll never forget a face...or anything else!"

'It started with me installing a surveillance camera to guard the register, but then my O.C.D. kicked in.'

'Geek computer hackers wouldn't have survived a week at MY West Point!'

Hi-jacked street light.

Best anti-theft systems for cars . . . The Club, Front End Damage, 5 speed, and Lion.

Facial Recognition Software Installed

Go To Sleeeeep Britain. . .

'We're going for the big off shore banks.'

"Billy here has done a good job guarding our computers, but we're looking to upgrade our cybersecurity to something a little more effective."

Army Surplus: Now in Stock - Camouflage Trousers!

"It wasn't easy lugging all these concrete bollards up to the third floor, but at least we don't need to worry about terror truck drivers anymore."

"Look what I bought from Ralphie...a surveillance camera! It keeps watch over your valuables."

James Clapper Resigns US National Director of Intelligence

"We give up. What is your log-on password?"

'I kind of miss the sheepdog: This new video surveillance system gives me the creeps...'

Ideas for the Pasadena Y

"Oh, we never shoot the messenger. But we'd take away his access codes."