It Security Specialist Gifts

"Millions at risk from identity theft - good thing I'm safe."

"To verify you are the person who answered the phone, May I have your social security number and a major credit card."

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

Missing Disks.

Security Breach

"I assume you have internet access."

Phone Hackers

Beyond the Law

Turnkey Totalitarianism

'You hold no authority that will allow you passage, and are ignorant of the magic password ... can you at LEAST tell me your mother's maiden name?'

Online Banking - Usurer-Friendly.

"Remember when they used to call it the 'private sector?'"

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

21st century water cooler conversations.

Out and In.

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

The Googler

Olivia just hacked into the boy scouts' site and sold them 30,000 boxes of cookies.

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

'Can our software do that?'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

'Who changed the password to 'arf'?'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

"In the old days, we had to constantly feed the screensaver."

Mac OS 20

"Uh-oh...it's starting to delegate work to me."

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."