Computer Security Specialist Gifts

'When I was young and got mad at my parents, I would scribble on the walls. Now, I infect their computers with a virus.'

Armed Forces: We are need in of computer hackers to handle our cyber warfare defenses.

"I wrote it, dear...the Great American Password."

"I hacked into Santa's computer to make sure we're on his 'nice' list."

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

'Putting your text in Pig Latin isn't the same as encrypting.'

The Anti-Agent

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'Who changed the password to 'arf'?'

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

"My hackers just collapsed your country's economy."

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

"I see you've security marked your property."

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

Minority Report

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

Shaped Much Different: Vietnam and Afghanistan.

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

AI Safety Officer

"Careful! He knows computers."

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'