Security Technology Lovers Gifts

Shepherd watching sheep on closed circuit TV

'Where was the TSA?'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"It says 'beware of robot dog.'"

CCTV in church.

Forgot your locker combination? Let Sammy the weasel pick it open for you!

"...and if you both can successfully complete this CAPTCHA, we'll continue with the vows."

'Since PRISM, nothing is 'off the record' any more.'

The Ayatollah Bomb?

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

"Well, at least one of us passed the emoji eye exam..."

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

The ultimate Secret Service demotion. We're sending you to guard Mount Rushmore.

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

'He's Barack Obama? I thought you said 'he brought a bomb on!''

"Sorry Mom, but I really need to take this call."

The prime minister: the current threat to national security...

'Principal McWit, a student without an appointment is here and says he's holding your computer access codes for ransom.'

Don't look know, but I think you're being Googled.

'Don't worry -- the security camera is for your own protection.'

'They take patient privacy so seriously around here they encrypt your name!'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

'Halt! User name and password.'

'D'you ever get that uncanny feeling we're not being watched.'

Smile you're on camera! You're also on my podcast!

"We named him XB32116 so we never forget the Wi-Fi password."

'Stop! That's no way to get data into the cloud.'

"My mom the security expert never trusted me. She'd never tell me her maiden name."

Museum. So the thieves got past us with a few items, it's not like the stuff was new.