Security Savvy Gifts

Selling Home Security Systems.

'We in the intelligence community have got to start ta.........I've already said too much.'

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

'You can't beat the old style security systems!'

'Morning, ma'am. I'm here to install your security system.'

'This is the only secure line in the building.'

"It's an eject seat for burglars. I got the idea from the eject key on my keyboard."

"Why didn't they set their security system before they left home?"

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

Man installing a burglar alarm,

'He might hurt himself getting stuck in the catflap...'

'Oh, stop fretting! No hacker wants to tap into your PC!'

'I may be short-sighted and forgetful but from now on, I'll always remember my bank account number and my creditcard PIN!'

"You know, if she weren't part of a well-regulated militia I'd be a little nervous."

'The Boston Marathon has changed everything.'

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'

'Most businesses point their CCTV cameras at property they want to protect. . . not at what they want to watch on the webcam...'

Password must contain at least one hieroglyph.

"I just found an app where I enter your phone number and it tells me exactly where you are at all times!"

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

'Where was the TSA?'

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Shaped Much Different: Vietnam and Afghanistan.

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

Statue of Security

CCTV in church.

Nuclear Security Summit

'He's an attorney. He came with the software package, to verify software licensing compliance.'

Big finger print trying to forge a cheque but he can't.

"That does it! ISIS is defeated."