Surveillance Savvy Gifts

Smile you're on camera! You're also on my podcast!

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"With the new video cameras, we no longer need hall monitors, Billy."

The Anti-Agent

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

The Circular Logic of Fascism

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"I need to know who started it."

'Now that everyone's street is online, we're mapping interiors.'

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

Giant pandas doing surveillance in a zoo.

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"I spy with my little eye…"

Get on with it!

The lion statues in front of New York City Library are replaced with spies.

'Your parents are way too overprotective.'

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

CCTV in church.

We've already got one. A hidden microphone in the staff coffee area.

'Somebody close the window. Those pesky drones are getting in.'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'You can laugh all you want, but since I bought this 'GPS' system, I haven't beached myself once!'

Information about information about information about information.

It's spooky how Amazon can track you down

"I think that's one of those annoying flying drones we've been hearing about!"

'Waiter, there's a drone in my soup.'

"Remember that requirement that you work without supervision? Forget it."

"I don't need your resume. Your current employer forwarded me a ton of security video that you're featured in."

The Modern Godot

Shark tower surveillance camera.

"Relax! I know how to make this look like a routine government surveillance operation!"

"I'm retired now - since I sold my 'know when you're naughty or nice' technology to NSA last year."

'I don't understand your question. Could you restate it as an answer?'