Security Geek Gifts

"For security, our signs need to be at least eight characters long."

'I say we forget about these particular chickens...'

"This is the break room, where we watch reruns of classic security footage."

NSA Personnel. Are you a good listener?

If you see something whack something.

Premises guarded by man eating lesbians.

Ship's Log In: Iris & Finger Print Recognition.

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

The DaVinci Code

'Where was the TSA?'

Elfie Stick

If nobody had invented graphics

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

'...then Johannes Gutenberg built the first bookcase'

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

Big screen TV falling through floor

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

"There appears to be a flaw in our cloaking technology."

Bot Art: After da Vinci

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

Evolving Changes in Medical Lingo

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

'If I wasn't meant to destroy the world, God wouldn't have created me with atomic blasters instead of hands.'

"I don't know what I want, but I do know what I don't want, and I won't know one until I see the other."

"The new OS update should fix the bug that makes you want to murder everyone."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'It says, 'Life is like a transistor.''

"In the spirit of co-operation, peace and friendship with the people of Earth, we welcome Captain Zork and his incredible advanced weapons technology..."

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

'I use the clones to help prevent identity theft.'

'Take me to your computer.'