Secure Surfers Gifts

"Look, he's got his blanket. He's doing a secure search."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

TV-Man

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

Check your universal remote control at the door.

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

'Ever since I started reading the newswpaper online, he's been bringing my computer to me.'

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

How I met your mother

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'

'...you'd better get yourself a good lawyer!'

"Could you pass me up? I'm in row one."

Skateboard Sidewalk Surfer

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

"There's no such thing as free wi-fi."

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

'Welcome to digital - you now have more of what you didn't want than you ever thought possible!'

Remote control wars.

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

"We interrupt this rubbish to give you another chance to switch off."

Digital TV presents "It's true there really is a channel for everyone"

The wetsuit preferred by 9 out of 10 executive windsurfers.

Fan-Centric Stadium

"We interrupt C.B.S.'s evening news with a special bulletin from N.B.C.!"

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

'500 channels...surely there must be something worth watching.'

Mind control

Transformation of Man into Monster.

"How many new sitcoms will it make before they find a decent one?" "About twenty something"