Sunday School Storyteller Gifts

"I learned that Moses partied on the Red Sea today."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

Coping with a strong-willed child

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

Early Piety

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

'A dog ate my homework.'

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

"When I gave up cookies for the period of fasting called Lent, I thought it would be an hour, like the period of school called math."

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

"As a child of the pastor, did you stop and think that just because you can belch the books of the Bible, should you?"

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

I miss recess!

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

BIBLE STORIES, 'This is full of battle and other BOY stuff - not a single romantic comedy!'

"Coming soon...what I did over summer vacation...the podcast!"

"Tell me the story about Jonah and the big fish again, Dad."

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

"Reverend, if we're born again in Jesus...do we get another belly button?"

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'