Sunday School Storytellers Gifts

Moses as a kid.

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

Coping with a strong-willed child

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

Early Piety

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'A dog ate my homework.'

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

"When I gave up cookies for the period of fasting called Lent, I thought it would be an hour, like the period of school called math."

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

I miss recess!

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

"Reverend, if we're born again in Jesus...do we get another belly button?"

"Tell me the story about Jonah and the big fish again, Dad."

"Coming soon...what I did over summer vacation...the podcast!"

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

"A plague of frogs? Awesome!"

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."