School Storyteller Gifts

"But enough about me, what's new with you?"

"Maybe now you'll believe me!"

'My composition is 'parental discipline and what we can do about it'.'

'Mrs. Wingit, what's the secret to teaching middle school for 30 years?'

"If the principal calls it's probably about my '15 minutes of fame'."

'When I was a student, wireless data transmission meant passing notes in class.'

'Show-and-tell with lice?'

"I forgot my homework, but there's a video of me doing it on youtube."

'You might not know it now but I used to have some great lesson plans.'

"Hold on, Mrs. Martin, you know that book is not on the approve curriculum!!"

"How our teacher, under my surveillance, spent her summer vacation..."

"The teacher sprung a pop quiz on us today."

'A virus ate my powerpoint.'

'I don't compare students nearly as much as Mrs. Wynn does.'

'Young man, I don't like the look of that emoticon on your face!'

See Dick bleed!

"The teacher says I need to have a do-over for third grade."

"Susan's been at the school the longest."

"I don't have kids because after twenty years of teaching there isn't a child's name I can hear that won't give me horrible flash backs."

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

"Coming soon...what I did over summer vacation...the podcast!"

"My dog ate my homework."

"Every day, I ask her 'what did you learn at school today' and every day, she says 'nothing'."

"But I thought what happened in Ms. Vega's classroom stays in Ms. Vega's classroom."

'They used to make you stand in the corner for saying bad words - Now they suspend you for hate speech!'

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Greer, but I can't function under this kind of scrutiny."

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

Criminal background checks on teachers? How come? To weed out child abusers. Ha! When you taught, you were routinely accused of severe abuse, mother. True. I inflicted the letters "C," "D" and "F" on many of my students. Wow! That's so outlawed.

"If these are the happiest days of my life, I haven't got much to look forward to..."

'Dad, the teacher said my grades remind her of old times. She says she was your teacher too.'

'A dog ate my homework.'

"I guess you've heard bad spin about me."

Mom! Dad! I heard the most fantastic thing today - say, you're doing it!

"'Fraid your lad is having trouble fitting in."