Sun-soaked Guru Gifts

Sigh...things wear oud, dust collects, people die... Why can't you just relax and enjoy life? Because one thing really worries me... Reincarnation, right? ou know me too well, woman.

"I've just barbecued my head again."

Sunbathers.

'Hey! What's the big idea!?!'

Beach flirting

Kirsten Johnson

Goddess of Fertility garden feature

'I have one last question: this beach is clothing optional, right?'

Monk on the beach

Complete Makeover

'This app tells me how near my friends are...'

Sculptor's chippings

"How?"

"I wish you people would just read the blog."

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

Hose and Flower in Perfect Harmony.

'I need all the heat I can get before I have to go to the North Pole to prepare for this Christmas.'

"Excuse me, it's my reminder to get a life."

Bad times for retirees.

'How did our ‘Get Away From It All' vacation turn into a ‘Take Most Of It With You' long weekend?'

"I'm gonna make him an offer he could refuse but won't because he's afraid of conflict."

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

'She certainly gets a lot out of her bikini.'

"His hip isn't getting any better. I really should have him put to sleep."

'Forget it - the nearest wi-fi hot spot is in Rangoon.'

"I have the smokey eyes look. Can the doctor still give me an eye exam?"

All-knowing mountain guru consults the internet.

"You know you're old when you have to warm up just to take out the garbage."

"There's more to being a pensions adviser than just handling the figures..."

"If that book is gonna deposit hundreds of grains of sand in our bed later tonight, it better be damn juicy."

Office of Outdoor Education

Quarantine: The great equalizer