Laid-back Guru Gifts

'I wish for once you'd drop your old male reserve.'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Since being semi-retired everything I do is half-assed."

'Hey! What's the big idea!?!'

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

'Wake up! You should be worrying about our investments!'

'This exotic dessert I make is guilt-free. I already burned all the calories running around finding the ingredients!'

Procrastinator Hall of Fame

Zen and the Art of Procrastination.

No need for you to read this. You seem to have got it to a fine art.

'Does he do anything besides watch the money?'

Man types with beer on his computer.

'Goopta took early retirement.'

Lance, I know I'm lying down on the job, but

Humane Mouse Trap "It doesn't kill them,. It just makes them feel really guilty about inconveniencing you."

Ballerina and the light switch.

"Have you ever wanted something so bad that you'd actually save up the money to buy it?"

The brain cell that was suppose to help me remember.

"What are we doing today?"

'FYI, Stevens, nobody likes a middle-aged slacker.'

"I'm starting to realize for you your loafers aren't just a fashion statement but a lifestyle."

Man wearing t-shirt - 'Apathetic but don't care'.

"Love them rays, Chief."

"Sloth!"

"I'm a type B personality in a type A large business."

"When you called yourself a playboy...."

Totally Relaxed Fit Jeans

"We're just like one big happy family here."

'Everyone called and canceled for tonight's dinner party? Awesome!'

'Thinking INSIDE the box is actually quite underrated!'

'I think you're our kind of people.'

'Don't tell me I've forgotten it's Causal Friday..?'

'I think you're overdoing the yoga classes.'

'Goopta took early retirement.'

'This is our manager. He prides himself on being very much hands off.'