Laid-back Spiritual Seeker Gifts

"Roger and Out."

"Good game."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"All we have left is standing room only."

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Astral Projection

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

"Needs to get a life"

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

Zenemies.

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

Tiny Visions

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.