Light-hearted Spiritualist Gifts

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"Your prayers may be recorded for quality and training purposes and will be answered by the next available deity."

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

"FREEDOM!!!"

Siegfried and Roy - grand re-opening.

"Your husband says BOO!"

"The only thing I'm sensing is an entrepreneurial spirit."

Cat Seance

"On second thoughts, I'll have it stirred, not shaken."

"You're on mute."

"Restless spirit, we don't know who or what you are, but thank you for your amazing Wi-Fi, and for keeping the signal strong."

Preachers with far too much input

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

I am one with stupid.

The response of a spirit during a seance is in fact an annoyed neighbour.

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

Cemetery: Communicated with your loved one see Madam Zolta within.

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

'Eve ate the apple, and she's asking if you want to make it two out of three with oranges and bananas?'

Spiritual Show Observed by the Grim Reaper.

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'