Guilt-free Guru Gifts

Humane Mouse Trap "It doesn't kill them,. It just makes them feel really guilty about inconveniencing you."

'This exotic dessert I make is guilt-free. I already burned all the calories running around finding the ingredients!'

Man practising karate is tempted by a glass of beer.

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

"Is that you nomad's answer to everything...ROAD TRIP?"

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

The Ekert Saga: 'Let's put it this way...can you imagine how the world would be if everyone actually practiced hat they preach about following the 'golden rule'?

'Goopta took early retirement.'

Honey badger do care.

"But if I don't know the corporate values then I'm not accountable to them."

Ballerina and the light switch.

'Your problem seems to be depression or angst...Depression I charge £75 a session angst is £125.'

'Honestly you could drive a 'coach and horses' through this document, there's no definition of 'weight loss', no time frame, no sanctions.'

"Done saving the world for today."

"It all began with trying to measure project outcomes."

'The level of my tolerance is only surpassed by the stupidity of people who don't share my opinion.'

Actually, it's kind of a relief to discover I wasn't a thin guy trapped in a heavy guy's body.

"I like subtitles. I can watch the movie, skip the book, and not feel guilty."

"You know very well what subscription forms."

'Goopta took early retirement.'

Ballet keeps you supple...

"I'm trying to be more mindful of what's happening on my phone."

"You're work might be free, but based on the quality, it's not pro bono."

"That does it! I'm going on a diet! Baldo, hide these pastries where I can't find them."

'Hey, I'm no longer an ugly duckling! Now I'm an ugly duck!'

'It's a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to GIVE there.'

'I don't have to worry about report cards any more. . .I just resigned.'

Kneeling

'I hope you got enough to eat, John. . . you didn't eat all your dinner.'