Guilt-free Gurus Gifts

"I'm rather fortunate. I have no parents, so Medicare is no problem, and I have no children, so the environment is no problem."

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

'This exotic dessert I make is guilt-free. I already burned all the calories running around finding the ingredients!'

The Ekert Saga: 'Let's put it this way...can you imagine how the world would be if everyone actually practiced hat they preach about following the 'golden rule'?

'I'm good. How are you?'

Humane Mouse Trap "It doesn't kill them,. It just makes them feel really guilty about inconveniencing you."

"Health advice does change over time, but I doubt if we'll EVER be recommending a diet of pizza and beer."

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."

"But if I don't know the corporate values then I'm not accountable to them."

The four major food groups.

Third eye

'Your problem seems to be depression or angst...Depression I charge £75 a session angst is £125.'

"Sure, organic free-range poultry is more expensive, but consider all the guilt you're saving."

"Did we ask for a heart-shaped tub?"

"I am, of course, quite fit, or, if you prefer, quite extraordinarily fit, but I wouldn't say I was 'perfectly fit.'"

"Well I only know of only one family smart enough to know they can't live without an energy efficient clothes dryer! That's right . . . the sucker fish family!"

'Has it occurred to you you might be suffering from negative self image?'

'It means that when you order the cheesecake, the guilt comes free.'

"It's always 'The humble lima bean this, and the humble lima bean that.'"

"Actually, you're in excellent health. The only thing I recommend is that you cut back on carbs...and that means cutting back on your favorite dishes."

"Some people think I'm just a little girl...but they're wrong! I'm a woman on my way up!"

'Doesn't she realize how ugly our species looks when we are pressed against glass?'

hey good lookin ( 'six summers' card range idea)

"I like subtitles. I can watch the movie, skip the book, and not feel guilty."

"Do we kiss these people?"

"You know very well what subscription forms."

'Hey, I'm no longer an ugly duckling! Now I'm an ugly duck!'

"When I looked in the mirror this morning, Bill, I realized I no longer knew or respected the man I saw there. And after the initial shock wore off, it hit me: I CAN WORK WITH THIS!"

"Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble when you're perfect in every way..."

'I don't have to worry about report cards any more. . .I just resigned.'