Guilt-free Gurus Pillows

"I'm rather fortunate. I have no parents, so Medicare is no problem, and I have no children, so the environment is no problem."

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

'This exotic dessert I make is guilt-free. I already burned all the calories running around finding the ingredients!'

The Ekert Saga: 'Let's put it this way...can you imagine how the world would be if everyone actually practiced hat they preach about following the 'golden rule'?

Humane Mouse Trap "It doesn't kill them,. It just makes them feel really guilty about inconveniencing you."

'I'm good. How are you?'

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."

"Health advice does change over time, but I doubt if we'll EVER be recommending a diet of pizza and beer."

"But if I don't know the corporate values then I'm not accountable to them."

The four major food groups.

Third eye

"Sure, organic free-range poultry is more expensive, but consider all the guilt you're saving."

'Your problem seems to be depression or angst...Depression I charge £75 a session angst is £125.'

"I am, of course, quite fit, or, if you prefer, quite extraordinarily fit, but I wouldn't say I was 'perfectly fit.'"

"Did we ask for a heart-shaped tub?"

Hoping to appear 'hipper,' many candidates are sporting Justin Bieber haircuts.'

'Has it occurred to you you might be suffering from negative self image?'

"It's always 'The humble lima bean this, and the humble lima bean that.'"

"Well I only know of only one family smart enough to know they can't live without an energy efficient clothes dryer! That's right . . . the sucker fish family!"

'It means that when you order the cheesecake, the guilt comes free.'

'Doesn't she realize how ugly our species looks when we are pressed against glass?'

"Actually, you're in excellent health. The only thing I recommend is that you cut back on carbs...and that means cutting back on your favorite dishes."

Actually, it's kind of a relief to discover I wasn't a thin guy trapped in a heavy guy's body.

hey good lookin ( 'six summers' card range idea)

"Some people think I'm just a little girl...but they're wrong! I'm a woman on my way up!"

"I like subtitles. I can watch the movie, skip the book, and not feel guilty."

The day Kevin turned vegetarian.

"Do we kiss these people?"

'Hey, I'm no longer an ugly duckling! Now I'm an ugly duck!'

"You know very well what subscription forms."

"When I looked in the mirror this morning, Bill, I realized I no longer knew or respected the man I saw there. And after the initial shock wore off, it hit me: I CAN WORK WITH THIS!"

If you're bothered by the guilt, I can put two scoops of real butter pecan ice cream in one of our Lo-Cal Fat-Free cups.

"Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble when you're perfect in every way..."