Self-acceptance Guru Pillows

Actually, it's kind of a relief to discover I wasn't a thin guy trapped in a heavy guy's body.

'Hey, I'm no longer an ugly duckling! Now I'm an ugly duck!'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"The goal is to hate yourself."

"Always remember...it takes teamwork to get me that promotion!"

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

"You left your demons here last week."

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

It's about self-control. "'No Thyself".

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

Thanks to therapy, Bob no longer felt like a nobody. He felt like an anybody.

Let go of the restrictions in your own head.

Man in Therapist office sees a sign: Therapy Is Expensive Bubble Wrap Is Cheap You Decide

"There's no need to be em'bear'rassed about what you like!"

Warning. Objects in mirror my bear no relation to reality.

Congratulations!

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

Library: Self-Help Books and Blame a 'Rigged' Political System.

"There's a wonderful book on memory tricks here, but I can't remember what I did with it!"

'I'm not complaining or anything, but these are going to be really hard on our self-esteem!'

'This exotic dessert I make is guilt-free. I already burned all the calories running around finding the ingredients!'

Broccoli: Just Full of Surprises!

DIY information - 'Here you are - look it up yourself.'

"It's my 30-day chip. One month catnip free."

"It says here we should get a lodger."

'I guess it was a mistake to make them self-starting.'

'I have way too much respect and dignity to dye the grey out of my hair... so instead could you all just put on these brown-tinted glasses.'

"I knew you'd understand."

Declutter Your Life

'More isn't doing the trick lately. What comes AFTER more?'

"That was classic me."

"...A meaningful epiphany or just a line from some dumb TV commercial?"

'I think they're still just sizing each other up.'