Self-acceptance Warrior Pillows

"My left buttock is noticeable larger than my right and my dog is missing his hind legs."

Woman looking into a mirror

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

Militant Pacifists

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

"May I remind you that my core worth as a human being remains constant, and isn't tied to external validation."

"My fuse about my height is about as short as I am."

'Thank God, no tasers in my day!'

'I have way too much respect and dignity to dye the grey out of my hair... so instead could you all just put on these brown-tinted glasses.'

"Dear, it's a well known fact that women's clothes shrink in the closet during winter!"

'I'm afraid my husband will stop loving me as I get older.' - 'Mine would never do that with me. You know why, don't you. He's an antique dealer.'

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

"I am very comfortable with my bovinity."

'Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can't even get into my own pants.'

Tai Chi vs. Chai Tea

Calm in the Face of Chaos

In these hard economic times, positive self worth trumps negative self worth.

'She was always very proud of her figure.'

"Namaste! The divinity in me versus the divinity in you!"

"Why do I let everybody walk all over me?'

Fighting With Yourself

'A second opinion? -- Are you trying to mess with my self-esteem?'

'Democracy? I thought we were spreading love.'

'I got GI Joe Peace for my birthday.'

"Maybe you should ask yourself why you're inviting all this duck hunting into your life right now."

'Charlene had never thought of herself as beautiful, but..well...mirrors don't lie.'

Hippy fighting off medicine.

Woman throwing away smoking accessories

"It's tough sticking to a diet when you're surrounded by temptation."

'I don't have a shortage of willpower. I have an excess of fairness.'

'What we need now is a weapon that takes out nuke facilities and weapons of mass destruction, but that doesn't pollute the environment.'

If you want peace, prepare for war.