Self-acceptance Warrior Pillows

"My left buttock is noticeable larger than my right and my dog is missing his hind legs."

I heart my bum.

Woman looking into a mirror

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

Militant Pacifists

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

"May I remind you that my core worth as a human being remains constant, and isn't tied to external validation."

'Thank God, no tasers in my day!'

'I have way too much respect and dignity to dye the grey out of my hair... so instead could you all just put on these brown-tinted glasses.'

"My fuse about my height is about as short as I am."

"Dear, it's a well known fact that women's clothes shrink in the closet during winter!"

'I'm afraid my husband will stop loving me as I get older.' - 'Mine would never do that with me. You know why, don't you. He's an antique dealer.'

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

'Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can't even get into my own pants.'

"I am very comfortable with my bovinity."

Latest support group: British actors who couldn't get a part in the Harry Potter films.

Tai Chi vs. Chai Tea

Calm in the Face of Chaos

'She was always very proud of her figure.'

In these hard economic times, positive self worth trumps negative self worth.

"Namaste! The divinity in me versus the divinity in you!"

"Why do I let everybody walk all over me?'

'Democracy? I thought we were spreading love.'

'I got GI Joe Peace for my birthday.'

'A second opinion? -- Are you trying to mess with my self-esteem?'

Fighting With Yourself

'Oi! Mind where you're going!'

"Maybe you should ask yourself why you're inviting all this duck hunting into your life right now."

Hippy fighting off medicine.

'Charlene had never thought of herself as beautiful, but..well...mirrors don't lie.'

"It's tough sticking to a diet when you're surrounded by temptation."

"Whose idea was it to pillage a zen garden?"

'I don't have a shortage of willpower. I have an excess of fairness.'

Woman throwing away smoking accessories