Self-awareness Warrior Pillows

"You are no match for my inner critic. . ."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

That party went well.

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

When did you first feel like a male trapped in a female body? When I was a foetus.

"I like you in that one—it gives you an aura of mindfulness."

"Look, it's my word balloon."

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

Woman looking into a mirror

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

"Oh No!! - I'm deciduous..."

'It feels like I'm very much in a good place these days. That is, aside from the grammar.'

Always remember...you're the best you in the world.

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

"God help us, it's that guy."

"Feeling that only you can prevent forest fires could be construed as delusions of grandeur."

As soon as I've extinguished my ego, I'm going to take some "me" time.

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

"May I remind you that my core worth as a human being remains constant, and isn't tied to external validation."

'Can you remember where you were when you first realized you were full of crap?'

Motorway of the Self

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

"Mort, I'm writing a case study about two diametrically opposed archetypes of your generation. Archetype number one: a bold, debonaire male... The type that suffered no fools, lived life to the fullest, and pursued romance with tough, smart 'dames' who kept him on his toes. And then there's archetype number two: weak, insecure, afraid of life, and dominated by overbearing romantic partners who brought him to his knees. Ok. I'll participate. Who'd you find for archetype #2? You might want to

Psychology Clinic. Most potent example of solipsism I've ever seen --- he follows himself on Twitter.

"I work from home because I can’t stand the sight of idiots." "Is that why you got rid of all our mirrors?"

So doctor, what you're saying is that all the time I thought she was a crazy cat lady, it was me who had mental health issues...

"I'm realizing how useless I'd be in a post apocalyptic world - All I do is draw cartoons."

'You're not fooling anybody but yourself.' 'There goes my political career!'

"Wait ... I always thought taking each other for granted was a good thing!"

"The perfect killing machine? Is that all I am to you?"

'Can you remember where you were when you first realized you were full of crap?'

"My, aren't we patient-oriented this morning."