Self-love Warrior Pillows

Woman looking into a mirror

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

"Does this make me think I look good?"

"When I first met him, he was my knight in shining armour. But, he hasn't been near the metal polish in years!"

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

"May I remind you that my core worth as a human being remains constant, and isn't tied to external validation."

Me when by BDD shows up

'Let's face it...We have irreconcilable differences!'

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending" yourself on Facebook."

"I'm diagnosing selfie-steem issues."

"My fuse about my height is about as short as I am."

The universe that has me at the center of it is my kind of universe!

"Gracie, can you make me soar?"

Narcissus' Cat.

"Dear, it's a well known fact that women's clothes shrink in the closet during winter!"

'I'm afraid my husband will stop loving me as I get older.' - 'Mine would never do that with me. You know why, don't you. He's an antique dealer.'

"On a personal note, my wife, Ann, and I have agreed to separate, as I've fallen in love with the sound of my own voice."

'Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can't even get into my own pants.'

"I hope I'm single for Valentine's because only I fully know my worth in chocolate."

Latest support group: British actors who couldn't get a part in the Harry Potter films.

"Do you promise to love and comfort yourself, on good days and bad, for richer, for poorer, in weight gain and loss, as long as you shall live?"

"Would you like your real size or one that artificially inflates your ego?"

I heart my bum.

"One nice thing about being an amoeba, nobody ever tells you you're out of shape!"

"I got a bonus for the first time in years. Would it be selfish to spend it on myself instead of on Christmas gifts?"

Narcissus discovers t-shirts

"If you love yourself then you'll never be alone."

'See, I told you you were beautiful.'

Self Love Witch

"My left buttock is noticeable larger than my right and my dog is missing his hind legs."

'Progress. Your prenup process is down to two boxes of tissue a day.'

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending" yourself on Facebook."

"Whenever I'm feeling down, I throw myself a parade."