Self-discipline Warrior Pillows

"It's tough sticking to a diet when you're surrounded by temptation."

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

Woman looking into a mirror

Giving Things Up For Lent.

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

Say balls to testicular cancer, remember to check your crown jewels regularly.

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

"May I remind you that my core worth as a human being remains constant, and isn't tied to external validation."

'All this knowledge going into my head, through my eyes and out the window to float forever in space.'

Unhappy, Happy, and Well Being Consultant Theatre Masks.

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

"My fuse about my height is about as short as I am."

I'm Aging Gracefully...so SHUT UP!!!

'What kind of quack is he? No pills, no special diets! He just believes in will power!'

"Dear, it's a well known fact that women's clothes shrink in the closet during winter!"

'I'm afraid my husband will stop loving me as I get older.' - 'Mine would never do that with me. You know why, don't you. He's an antique dealer.'

'Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can't even get into my own pants.'

"Dear Bad-Karma, to assist you at this busy time, I've drawn up a list of people you may have missed."

'Remember, my son -- the longest journey begins with a single slither.'

"Sealed for your diets protection."

"My left buttock is noticeable larger than my right and my dog is missing his hind legs."

In these hard economic times, positive self worth trumps negative self worth.

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

'Jenkins came back from his vacation a little too decompressed.'

"Wearing this hot metal for 20 days straight is rough."

'I'm really worried Doc. I'm beginning to feel quite good about myself!'

'And this is Ziggy, our stress management consultant...'

'They're using honey to draw us out. Fortunately, they underestimate our willpower.'