Self-discipline Seeker Pillows

"Sometimes, you will be asked to go days without Netflix."

They hated me.

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

Critisize your weight.

"I like you in that one—it gives you an aura of mindfulness."

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

"I haven't lost any weight after two weeks of dieting, but my hair's getting thinner."

"...Wow, if Malcolm Gladwell is right, we need to get a cat who's a Virgo ASAP!"

Giving Things Up For Lent.

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

Planned service changes

INSTANT GREY HAIR TREATMENT.

"Wings will be cool, I guess, but I'm mostly hoping the braces and pimples fall off."

"How's the job interviews going?" "Not well. Seems they only want the best and the brightest."

Roger feels that there are only two inante instincts in men and women. One is satisfaction of biological needs...the other is self-actualization.

"How long have I had what problem?"

'You again? You know it's called a mid-life crisis, not mid-week!'

"When you're healed, I'm going to wear it so I can't see what I weigh."

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

"I come from the future."

Ed finally had to admit that his body was less of a temple and more of a worn-out parish church with a bouncy castle out front.

"I hope someday someone steals my identity and makes something out of my life."

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

'My fuse about my height is about as short as I am.'