Self-discipline Pillows

Giving Things Up For Lent.

"Sealed for your diets protection."

'They're using honey to draw us out. Fortunately, they underestimate our willpower.'

Man practising karate is tempted by a glass of beer.

"No, Francis— not even if she is desperate."

It's about self-control. "'No Thyself".

"You'll have to give up the wine and the women. It's OK to sing, but only in moderation."

"To reinforce my diet, the mirror goes on the fridge."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

Self help acupuncture

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

Work/Life Balance

Bad fake tan day.

Take the time to do something nice for yourself. Your kids will thank you. That is, if you ever decide to have them.

Bad hair day!

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

"Try thinking about something else."

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

Leave your troubles in the bubbles

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

"You left your demons here last week."