Child Discipline Pillows

'If you're going to draw on the wall... do it behind the sofa.'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

Man practising karate is tempted by a glass of beer.

Grounded

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

It's about self-control. "'No Thyself".

Giving Things Up For Lent.

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

'Coulda, woulda, and definitely shoulda.'

'Should-do and shouldn't-do sound a lot alike.'

'What a bunch of control freaks!'

'Wow, Mom, how long has he been in time-out?'

Science Snobs

'Well, when you mess up on the job, you know where you stand with me.'

'I'm being punished. Nothing even remotely electronic for two weeks.'

'I called you in to talk to you about your son not being able to sit still.'

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

"Well, my daddy always says it's not a lie unless the Grand Jury says it's a lie."

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

"No, he's not grounded anymore. He used his allowance and lawyered up."

'How many kids do you actually have?'

'What kind of quack is he? No pills, no special diets! He just believes in will power!'

'My school has a very strict detention policy.'

' 'Peppermint thumb' is one of our toughest cases to cure.'

Leaves.

"OK...this season, I'm not taking any fooling around...we must have discipline! We must know the rules! We must respect the other team! But mostly...no yelling at the kids, or the coach!"

'Teachers' Dreams.''Did you just say F***? Care to repeat it so everyone can hear you or is even a four letter word beyond your abilities? ... And the state expects me to make you multisyllabic.'

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

Mom Umpires

Kids' energy levels

Raccoons! Single file into the crate! Snake! Back in your hole! Crickets! Keep it down! Animal Control Freak.

'No breakfast until you're finished making your bed, Joey.'