Child Behavior Management Pillows

'How many kids do you actually have?'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"I'm seeing some dominance issues."

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

'Wow, Mom, how long has he been in time-out?'

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'I called you in to talk to you about your son not being able to sit still.'

"Extreme? Maybe. But I have the best behaved school in the district."

"I changed my mind – no more kids."

Pavlov's dog

Teacher to king and queen: "He keeps invading other children's space."

'The vet will see, you know!'

' 'Peppermint thumb' is one of our toughest cases to cure.'

Kids' energy levels

"I don't want them to smell fear, so I'm going to roll in something before the interview."

"How about you slap me on the wrist and I neither admit nor deny any wrongdoing."

'Can you make this one disappear?'

Before the Salivating Dogs

'Keep an EYE on him for me.'

"Andy plays perfectly well with others - it's others who don't play well with Andy."

'Sorry, I'm not available. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you.'

"Maybe little Jack Horner became argumentative because he was backed into a corner, leaving him no options."

"Oh yes, you have to keep an eye on them All the time!"

'Mom said I was rude and put me in time out to learn some manners. I'm in solitary refinement!'

"Mothers Day is coming up. What shouldn't we do to make sure mom enjoys it?"

"I screamed for ice cream and all I got was 15 minutes in the Time Out chair."

'I've had it up to here with your demonization of the culture of childhood.'

Walkaholics Anonymous