Behavior Management Joker Pillows

"Extreme? Maybe. But I have the best behaved school in the district."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"You're quitting? You're walking out?? Couldn't you have at least waited until I finished outsourcing the company??!"

'I'm not saying he's going to chew you out, but he skipped breakfast and lunch.'

"Dopamine Casino. Gambling that makes you feel like gambling."

'Mummy, why did you teach me to walk?'

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

Pavlov's dog

'How many kids do you actually have?'

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

"I don't want them to smell fear, so I'm going to roll in something before the interview."

"Amanda, did you throw you shoes away again?"

"Little Ethan is quite the handful, but Susan and I have no regrets about stealing him from the maternity ward."

"Of course I'm behaving like a big baby. That's part of my formula for success."

Conserve water! NO compulsive hand washing

'I said that I didn't want to be interrupted...'

Monkey casino study.

Freudian vs Behavior therapist.

"I've got 2 WONDERFUL children. 2 out of 5 isn't bad I suppose!"

Before the Salivating Dogs

'Mind if we play through?'

'After all these years of purposely losing to the boss, I beat the pulp out of him and turned in my resignation.'

Konrad Lorenz

"You're holding a lot of homophobia in your lower back."

"You can tell he's not a stray. He picks up after himself."

'Tortoise fanciers dinner 6:30pm for 10pm'

'We already have a helper monkey for that.'

'I can't sign that behavior contract unless my attorney reviews it.'

'These are humans. Normally they are quite harmless, but if you touch their food or make fun of their beliefs they can become VERY aggressive.'

How Mrs Pavlov Would Call her Son to the Dinner Table