School Disciplinarian Pillows

'The principal says her door is always open, until it slams shut when you're in there!'

"How do you feel about plea bargaining?"

"Stop me if you've heard this before."

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

'This is not a good perspective to argue from.'

'If anyone misbehaves, you'll be suspended!'

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"Don't even think about it."

'Your parents are way too overprotective.'

'I'm being punished. Nothing even remotely electronic for two weeks.'

'Wow, Mom, how long has he been in time-out?'

Mom Umpires

Leaves.

Raccoons! Single file into the crate! Snake! Back in your hole! Crickets! Keep it down! Animal Control Freak.

'I want you to text message 100 times, 'I will not text message in class.''

'Do I have to enter a plea?'

"I wonder if the dumb obedience school gives a warranty..."

"No, I said 'sit'."

"You're a very good hall monitor, Billy, but we don't detain teachers."

"Mommy needs to get mad at you in a weird calm voice now."

'It's not just drugs - Fenton has zero tolerance for everything!'

'That website has been blocked.'

"Worms."

"You're not allowed to plead 'no contest'."

Discipline at Doggy School

"I don't want to bust your diet so we're having turkey franks and pumpkin yogurt."

"How do I keep my kids in line? I threaten to rent out the space under their beds to monsters."

"You got off easy. They put me under house arrest."

"...And to those who have been naughty he doesn't bring any coal, just presents."

"You just wait until your father gets home and adjusts your algorithm!"

"Yeah, but it's okay because they'll never take me alive again."

'I don't think your taking this seriously boy.'

Dog training tip: always make sure humans go through the doorways first.

Give a dog a bad name.....

"Sorry I'm late, dad! Which number?"