School Disciplinarian Gifts

'The principal says her door is always open, until it slams shut when you're in there!'

"How do you feel about plea bargaining?"

"Stop me if you've heard this before."

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

'This is not a good perspective to argue from.'

'If anyone misbehaves, you'll be suspended!'

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"Don't even think about it."

'Your parents are way too overprotective.'

'I'm being punished. Nothing even remotely electronic for two weeks.'

'Wow, Mom, how long has he been in time-out?'

Leaves.

'I want you to text message 100 times, 'I will not text message in class.''

'Do I have to enter a plea?'

"You're a very good hall monitor, Billy, but we don't detain teachers."

"Mommy needs to get mad at you in a weird calm voice now."

"I wonder if the dumb obedience school gives a warranty..."

"No, I said 'sit'."

'It's not just drugs - Fenton has zero tolerance for everything!'

'That website has been blocked.'

Discipline at Doggy School

"Worms."

"You're not allowed to plead 'no contest'."

"I don't want to bust your diet so we're having turkey franks and pumpkin yogurt."

"How do I keep my kids in line? I threaten to rent out the space under their beds to monsters."

"Yeah, but it's okay because they'll never take me alive again."

Dog training tip: always make sure humans go through the doorways first.

"We tell our kids to drink, smoke, dabble in recreational drugs and get a tattoo. Because they always do exactly the opposite of what we say."

The company gym's down the hall, but your resolve will be tested by running the gauntlet of snack machines.

"You just wait until your father gets home and adjusts your algorithm!"

"...And to those who have been naughty he doesn't bring any coal, just presents."

'I don't think your taking this seriously boy.'

"You got off easy. They put me under house arrest."

Give a dog a bad name.....

'For throwing spitballs in class, I am sending you to the principle's office. It's nothing personal, It's just a classroom management thing.'