Educational Disciplinarians Gifts

'Saul Werman, Attorney at Law... I got a call from someone in need of 'wegal wepwesentation?''

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"Don't even think about it."

'Your parents are way too overprotective.'

'I'm being punished. Nothing even remotely electronic for two weeks.'

I channeled John Dewey. He says if you want to be a good teacher, don't teach reading and writing. Teach students.

Leaves.

Raccoons! Single file into the crate! Snake! Back in your hole! Crickets! Keep it down! Animal Control Freak.

Mom Umpires

'I want you to text message 100 times, 'I will not text message in class.''

'You expect me to play with educational toys during SUMMER VACATION?'

'Do I have to enter a plea?'

"You're a very good hall monitor, Billy, but we don't detain teachers."

'It's not just drugs - Fenton has zero tolerance for everything!'

"How do you feel about plea bargaining?"

'That website has been blocked.'

Discipline at Doggy School

"I don't want to bust your diet so we're having turkey franks and pumpkin yogurt."

Teacher trying to hammer knowledge into child.

"How do I keep my kids in line? I threaten to rent out the space under their beds to monsters."

'The principal says her door is always open, until it slams shut when you're in there!'

'Don't play the fool with me, Son.'

The company gym's down the hall, but your resolve will be tested by running the gauntlet of snack machines.

"I'm being punished. For the next hour I have to stay out of WiFi range."

'Sorry to hear that you're dyslexic, Simkins... er, how do you spell that?'

"Sorry I'm late, dad! Which number?"

"You just wait until your father gets home and adjusts your algorithm!"

"...And to those who have been naughty he doesn't bring any coal, just presents."

'I don't think your taking this seriously boy.'

Give a dog a bad name.....

"Yeah, but it's okay because they'll never take me alive again."

'For throwing spitballs in class, I am sending you to the principle's office. It's nothing personal, It's just a classroom management thing.'

'Aren't I entitled to a public defender?'

'Our Damien was right, he is a very strict teacher!'

"If I have to text you one more time...."