Disciplinarian Gifts

'For throwing spitballs in class, I am sending you to the principle's office. It's nothing personal, It's just a classroom management thing.'

'I don't think your taking this seriously boy.'

'Forsyth, this is my son, Byron. I want you to tell him about the penalty for 'goofing off'.'

"Yeah, but it's okay because they'll never take me alive again."

'Your parents are way too overprotective.'

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'

'Don't come down until your thirty five.'

"Thank you for coming. The talks were forthright and useful, and provided an excellent climate in which to resolve our remaining differences."

'I want you to text message 100 times, 'I will not text message in class.''

'Um...Excuuuse me?! Apparently you've forgotten the household peacekeeping policy.'

'Do I have to enter a plea?'

"Mommy needs to get mad at you in a weird calm voice now."

'It's not just drugs - Fenton has zero tolerance for everything!'

"How do you feel about plea bargaining?"

'That website has been blocked.'

'No matter how much historical research was done, Roger, students who lead juntas have to be disciplined.'

'It's tough having a judge for a father. I'm grounded for 15 months to life.'

'For throwing spitballs in class, I am sending you to the principal's office. It's nothing personal. It's just a classroom management thing.'

'The principal says her door is always open, until it slams shut when you're in there!'

'Your punishment is to cut and paste ‘I will not misbehave in class' 500 times on your tablet.'

'Billy, I'm not going to argue the semantics of biting. Whether or not you penetrated skin, I'm calling your mother.'

"Sorry I'm late, dad! Which number?"

'Don't play the fool with me, Son.'

'Mrs. Sandler, I'm sorry we were late! No! Not that, Mrs. Sandler! Ahh! No, please! I beg of you!...'

"What have I told you about shoplifting, son!"

The company gym's down the hall, but your resolve will be tested by running the gauntlet of snack machines.

"We tell our kids to drink, smoke, dabble in recreational drugs and get a tattoo. Because they always do exactly the opposite of what we say."

"I'm being punished. For the next hour I have to stay out of WiFi range."

'Aren't I entitled to a public defender?'

'Our Damien was right, he is a very strict teacher!'

"Mommy is going to stay 'On Message'. 'No'"

This house needs rules! ...so if you think of any you want to live by, just let us know.

"If I have to text you one more time...."

"I'm warning you, young lady. You've got to the count of three before I say 'I'm not kidding'."

I am homeschooling you. That doesn't mean you can misbehave in class. If you keep calling out, I'll have to call your mother and report my concerns to myself.