Discipline Dilemmist Gifts

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'

Your Message on Your T-Shirt: 'Do As You Are Told!'

Verbal Orders

I will not chew gum in class, even sugarless....

'Don't I even get to enter a plea?'

Angel and devil versions of a man prepare for a shoot out.

"Are you sure this is in your job description?"

'I may not be able to smack you, but it won't stop the 'Bogie Man' coming to get you if you are naughty !'

A headmaster in the stocks covered in rotten eggs.

"My computer doesn't understand me!"

'No Billy! I am not ready to see you yet!'

"Are you listening to those bloody influencers again?"

'Did you drop a fly ball? Did you?! Bad! Baaaad!'

Time Out Room

'If kids have to be raised properly, does that hurt?'

A doctor in her kitchen agonizes over the ethics of pulling the plug on her ailing toaster.

'Billy, I'm not going to argue the semantics of biting. Whether or not you penetrated skin, I'm calling your mother.'

'I don't think your taking this seriously boy.'

"I'm eating for two-for me and the me who is on a diet."

'I should have known better than to tell him to stand in the corner.'

"Yeah, but it's okay because they'll never take me alive again."

'Yes, but the ideological notion that striking a child isn't justified under any circumstances contradicts thousands of years of parenting experience.'

"In my day, if you colluded with anyone, Dad went for his belt."

'For throwing spitballs in class, I am sending you to the principle's office. It's nothing personal, It's just a classroom management thing.'

"My problem is, I can't tell a good example from a glaring example."

"You wouldn't smack the new underclass would you nanny?"

"After looking up my password, completing two-step verification, and proving I'm not a robot, I forget why I went to this website!"

All trails go nowhere.

'Forsyth, this is my son, Byron. I want you to tell him about the penalty for 'goofing off'.'

Don't get cocky - He "followed" me, too.

"I suggest that we grab a bite first."

'Want to know how to deal with problem students? Have them sit in front of a computer that's turned off.'

Eeny, meeny, miny, mo...

"Nobody cares about my other trolley problems."

"Now, about your room." "Aw, mom." "Don't 'aw mom' me. A clean and orderly room promotes discipline." "But ..." "But nothing. Believe me, you'll thank me later. And another thing ..."