Disciplinarians Gifts

'Don't play the fool with me, Son.'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

Inside One's Memory Bank

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

Coronavirus Waves

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

"It's a boy, ... and two girls, then another boy, another girl, and there more boys."

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

"You don't mind the psychometric test, do you?"

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

'Have you picked out a domain name, yet?'

"Look! A dying brain cell! Maybe we should help!...."

'Your parents are way too overprotective.'

'You know, termite queens have over 100 million offspring. I mean, just saying...'

"I wish he'd actually play with his toy hospital, rather than just making strike placards."

You can relax now.

Medical Examinations.

Healthcare workers come to the N.H.S. Fancy dress party dressed as viruses.

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'

The GPC has written to ministers about how children can be more involved with the NHS

Looking for the cause of high health care costs. . .

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

'It's a chicken.'

"Congratulations! It's centuplets!"

Body Building

"There's nothing wrong with her. With e-mail, texting and tweeting, she just hasn't needed to learn to talk."

"Ummm, hold up a second, old chum . . ."

Verbal Orders

Covid v Vaccinator

Lady sees door sign next to ENT: 'Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes'.

"Cut down on the Ho-Ho's."

'Oh for heaven's sake, Jim... all he wants to do is perform a vasectomy on you.'