Digital Disciplinarian Gifts

'I want you to text message 100 times, 'I will not text message in class.''

'That website has been blocked.'

Punishment for a child in the internet age - 'Go to your chat room'

Listen, now that we're doing homeschool, STEM stands for Stop Texting Every Minute.

"When I turned off his computer, he deflated."

"If I have to text you one more time...."

Computer Room.

Moses on the web

"Isn't there an app for this?"

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

'You don't have to worry about my future any more -- I just downloaded an entire college education!'

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

God's Phone

'Your parents are way too overprotective.'

"I have an app for that."

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

"You're never too old to learn..."

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

"The problem with online schooling is I can't get help from Mom and Dad!"

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Follow God On Twitter

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

'What's the use? Everyone has his own PC future-probability program these days.'

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

'I invited God to be one of my friends on Facebook and he's turned me down!'

"Where should we target our advertising dollars? "Hold on, I'm checking my website."

Tiddles completes his doctorate.

You Have 1 New Messages

'To everything there is a season; a time to cut, and a time to paste...'

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'