Family Disciplinarian Gifts

"You just wait until your father gets parental access."

"Mom wrote the book on voice activation!"

"Sorry I'm late, dad! Which number?"

"You don't belong in the Bermudez family...unless you know how to control pain when you're pinched for acting up in church."

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"Don't even think about it."

A father films his family while imagining himself as a director

'I'm being punished. Nothing even remotely electronic for two weeks.'

"Don't try to blame this mess on your father!"

Leaves.

Raccoons! Single file into the crate! Snake! Back in your hole! Crickets! Keep it down! Animal Control Freak.

Mom Umpires

Monk & Mandi: "I only obey twice a day."

'I want you to text message 100 times, 'I will not text message in class.''

'Do I have to enter a plea?'

"I wonder if the dumb obedience school gives a warranty..."

"Use your phone once more during dinner...And I'll send you close-ups of my patients' wounds."

"No, I said 'sit'."

"You're a very good hall monitor, Billy, but we don't detain teachers."

'It's not just drugs - Fenton has zero tolerance for everything!'

'That website has been blocked.'

"How do you feel about plea bargaining?"

Discipline at Doggy School

"I don't want to bust your diet so we're having turkey franks and pumpkin yogurt."

'What do you mean, you don't like the look of him - What has he ever done to you?'

"He still isn't paper trained, but I got him rug trained."

"Worms."

'The principal says her door is always open, until it slams shut when you're in there!'

"Your honor...the only reason my clinet committed these crimes was to support his wife and five kiids."

Dog training tip: always make sure humans go through the doorways first.

Dads outdone by sons be. . .

"You just wait until your father gets home and adjusts your algorithm!"

"...And to those who have been naughty he doesn't bring any coal, just presents."

"You got off easy. They put me under house arrest."

Give a dog a bad name.....