Pet Disciplinarian Gifts

'I have some pet peeves we need to discuss.'

'No, you may not have company. Your friends will have to wait until your time is up.'

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"Don't even think about it."

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

"Instead of wagging my tail, running around and jumping all over you, I sent you an E-card."

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

"Relax, Dad... I'll put your toothbrush away when I'm done. I always do."

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

'I'm being punished. Nothing even remotely electronic for two weeks.'

"OK, she's back. Just start slowly, and remember to ask her about herself."

"It's mouseborn."

The Catkins Diet

Monk & Mandi: "I only obey twice a day."

Leaves.

Cruel Pet Tricks

'Watch this... I have him trained to give me a treat every time I shake his hand.'

"No, I said 'sit'."

"I wonder if the dumb obedience school gives a warranty..."

"How do you feel about plea bargaining?"

'When I say a house dog I mean one trained not to leave the house during opening hours.'

"He still isn't paper trained, but I got him rug trained."

"Yes, he’s very excited to meet your Fifi."

"I'm not so good with names but I never forget a butt."

Discipline at Doggy School

"I don't want to bust your diet so we're having turkey franks and pumpkin yogurt."

"Worms."