Pet Disciplinarian Pillows

'I have some pet peeves we need to discuss.'

'No, you may not have company. Your friends will have to wait until your time is up.'

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"Don't even think about it."

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

"Instead of wagging my tail, running around and jumping all over you, I sent you an E-card."

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

'I'm being punished. Nothing even remotely electronic for two weeks.'

"Relax, Dad... I'll put your toothbrush away when I'm done. I always do."

Welcome to pet obedience school. We're going to have fun and get these darlings into shape. Obey-Wan-Ken

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

"OK, she's back. Just start slowly, and remember to ask her about herself."

"It's mouseborn."

Cruel Pet Tricks

Leaves.

Mom Umpires

The Catkins Diet

Monk & Mandi: "I only obey twice a day."

Raccoons! Single file into the crate! Snake! Back in your hole! Crickets! Keep it down! Animal Control Freak.

'Watch this... I have him trained to give me a treat every time I shake his hand.'

"No, I said 'sit'."

"I wonder if the dumb obedience school gives a warranty..."

"How do you feel about plea bargaining?"

'When I say a house dog I mean one trained not to leave the house during opening hours.'

She was too aggressive when I got her, so I trained her to be passive-aggressive.

"Yes, he’s very excited to meet your Fifi."

Discipline at Doggy School

"I don't want to bust your diet so we're having turkey franks and pumpkin yogurt."

"These are the care instructions. And if things don't work out, there's a recipe on the back."