Dog Discipler Pillows

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

Canine Scentipede

"You keep impeccable time."

"Don't even think about it."

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

"Instead of wagging my tail, running around and jumping all over you, I sent you an E-card."

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

'You're hired as far as I'm concerned Edwin! And look at these guys?...They seem to really like you!...You're a natural!'

'He took a fetching class.'

'Shake'

"What makes you think you're Good Boy material?"

I was allowed to chew this. But not that

Raccoons! Single file into the crate! Snake! Back in your hole! Crickets! Keep it down! Animal Control Freak.

Monk & Mandi: "I only obey twice a day."

"I wonder if the dumb obedience school gives a warranty..."

"No, I said 'sit'."

'Sorry Binky, but there is no category for talking dogs.'

'The final question...does it pass the sniff test?'

"He still isn't paper trained, but I got him rug trained."

"I'm not so good with names but I never forget a butt."

"Worms."

'It's not that I don't like dogs, I'm just more of a cat person,'

Discipline at Doggy School

'Are you also a dog?'

'His bark is worse than his bite.'

"You got off easy. They put me under house arrest."

"...And to those who have been naughty he doesn't bring any coal, just presents."

"You just wait until your father gets home and adjusts your algorithm!"

It's a dreadful affair, Watson. Flagrant failure to use the poopy bins.

Dog training tip: always make sure humans go through the doorways first.

Give a dog a bad name.....

"Bad dog!"