Dog Discipline Aficionado Gifts

"I've told you not to do that!"

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

"You keep impeccable time."

Obedience School/Disobedience School.

"Don't even think about it."

'...and I know exactly how to interpret his barks.'

"Poop outside and he saves it in a bag. Crap on the carpet and he loses his mind."

"Would you mind moving to your doggy bed? I'd like to sit in my chair. I know you can hear me. Your book is upside down."

Dog History

"Jerk." "Jackass." "Screw you." "Bite me."

I think you started off sending him the wrong message when you named him Alpha.

Monk & Mandi: "I only obey twice a day."

Obedience School: When Dogs Earn Their Master's Degree.

'After years of trying, he caught his tail.'

Puppy school vs. kitten school

"I wonder if the dumb obedience school gives a warranty..."

"He's suffering from heat exhaustion, may I suggest removing his coat?"

"No, I said 'sit'."

'I tried to teach him to shake, but he'd rather do 'high fives'.'

"Down boy, it's Halloween."

"Just pay attention and you might learn a few new tricks."

'Do you think I over-praised Marmaduke for fetching the paper?'

Doug always circled around four or five times before lying down to sleep.

Train Your Dog with Victoria Stilwell

"Here's what you do when you're kenneled: find the biggest dog in the joint and kick his #!@*."

"Boys, I want you to take this guy for a little ride..."

Enable your dog to finish the pursuit of the squirrel...Teach your dog how to easily uncork the wine...They can prepare your taxes for you.....and feed themselves.

Discipline at Doggy School

"Worms."

Anatomy Of A Dog's Brain

"He still isn't paper trained, but I got him rug trained."

"If you eat the homework, but then spit it out, are you still a bad dog?"

'The last thing I knew he was on a plane to an obedience school in Omaha!'

'Sandra missed school today because of this appointment. Will you please write an excuse note for her?"