Doggy Disciplinarian Gifts

'Bad dog.'

"Thank goodness, I always keep my person on a leash."

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"You keep impeccable time."

Canine Scentipede

"Don't even think about it."

"Instead of wagging my tail, running around and jumping all over you, I sent you an E-card."

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

'You're hired as far as I'm concerned Edwin! And look at these guys?...They seem to really like you!...You're a natural!'

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

'I'm being punished. Nothing even remotely electronic for two weeks.'

'He took a fetching class.'

'Shake'

Leaves.

"What makes you think you're Good Boy material?"

Monk & Mandi: "I only obey twice a day."

I was allowed to chew this. But not that

Mom Umpires

Raccoons! Single file into the crate! Snake! Back in your hole! Crickets! Keep it down! Animal Control Freak.

"I wonder if the dumb obedience school gives a warranty..."

"No, I said 'sit'."

'Sorry Binky, but there is no category for talking dogs.'

"How do you feel about plea bargaining?"

'The final question...does it pass the sniff test?'

"Worms."

"I'm not so good with names but I never forget a butt."

Discipline at Doggy School

"He still isn't paper trained, but I got him rug trained."

'The principal says her door is always open, until it slams shut when you're in there!'

'His bark is worse than his bite.'

'Are you also a dog?'

"Sorry I'm late, dad! Which number?"

"You just wait until your father gets home and adjusts your algorithm!"

"You got off easy. They put me under house arrest."

Give a dog a bad name.....