Doggy Discipline Debater Gifts

I was allowed to chew this. But not that

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

People who let their big dogs run around leash free and then say things like. . .

"You keep impeccable time."

"Don't even think about it."

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

Verbal Orders

"Just how many ways are there to skin a cat?"

'He's half Pit bull and half Collie. He'll tear an arm off and go for help.'

A dog reads a newspaper

Monk & Mandi: "I only obey twice a day."

I will not chew gum in class, even sugarless....

'Don't I even get to enter a plea?'

"No, I said 'sit'."

"I wonder if the dumb obedience school gives a warranty..."

"Are you sure this is in your job description?"

'I may not be able to smack you, but it won't stop the 'Bogie Man' coming to get you if you are naughty !'

A headmaster in the stocks covered in rotten eggs.

"He still isn't paper trained, but I got him rug trained."

Discipline at Doggy School

'No Billy! I am not ready to see you yet!'

'It's not that I don't like dogs, I'm just more of a cat person,'

'If kids have to be raised properly, does that hurt?'

"Worms."

'Billy, I'm not going to argue the semantics of biting. Whether or not you penetrated skin, I'm calling your mother.'

"You got off easy. They put me under house arrest."

Seeing Eye to Eye Dog

Dog training tip: always make sure humans go through the doorways first.

"It's for what?! I thought it was a bark amplifier!

"In my day, if you colluded with anyone, Dad went for his belt."

Give a dog a bad name.....

"Are we sure he's the alpha?"

'Yes, but the ideological notion that striking a child isn't justified under any circumstances contradicts thousands of years of parenting experience.'

"You wouldn't smack the new underclass would you nanny?"

"Bad dog!"