School Discipline Gifts

Principal to teacher: 'You've got to get a handle on the screaming and running down the hall. I don't care how afraid you are of your students.'

"You're not allowed to plead 'no contest'."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

Grounded

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

Giving Things Up For Lent.

'Coulda, woulda, and definitely shoulda.'

'Should-do and shouldn't-do sound a lot alike.'

'What a bunch of control freaks!'

Nervous Student

'Well, when you mess up on the job, you know where you stand with me.'

'Oh, Christ.'

'Good news Mom. I was accepted to the college of your choice.'

'They sent me home from school because my lunch was out of compliance.'

'Well if you're sick of seeing me here, and I'm sick of coming in here,let's call a truce!'

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

"And I'd recommend this book to anyone in the market for a free plush toy."

"Well, my daddy always says it's not a lie unless the Grand Jury says it's a lie."

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

School nativity. Boy says: 'If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this drama ...'

"First let me say that your father and I really, really wanted to like your performance."

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

'My school has a very strict detention policy.'

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

'Teachers' Dreams.''Did you just say F***? Care to repeat it so everyone can hear you or is even a four letter word beyond your abilities? ... And the state expects me to make you multisyllabic.'

Obama in schools.

"He doesn't like dinosaurs."

'No breakfast until you're finished making your bed, Joey.'

My teacher says I ask too many questions.

"How about you slap me on the wrist and I neither admit nor deny any wrongdoing."

'Do I have to enter a plea?'