Discipline Gifts

'No breakfast until you're finished making your bed, Joey.'

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

'Coulda, woulda, and definitely shoulda.'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

'Should-do and shouldn't-do sound a lot alike.'

"How about you slap me on the wrist and I neither admit nor deny any wrongdoing."

Smacking Machine.

'Not everyone gets a chance to write their wrongs.'

'What a bunch of control freaks!'

'My school has a very strict detention policy.'

"How many times have I told you not to draw your graffiti on the walls?!"

"Well, my daddy always says it's not a lie unless the Grand Jury says it's a lie."

'I took away Max's rubber band gun and now he hates me...maybe if I bribed him with ice cream...'

Bad, Bad Boy!

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

"Your fifteen minutes are up. Next time, raise your hand before asking questions."

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

Grounded

'You'll find we have a language barrier here - no profanity is allowed.'

"Up to now, I feel my childhood experience has been a very positive one! Why spoil it with some silly rules?"

"No, he's not grounded anymore. He used his allowance and lawyered up."

"As a principal, teachers will send unruly students to your office and you will send unruly teachers to my office."

Teacher sees sign on Teacher's Lounge door reading 'No Spitball Zone'.

"If you ask me, good parenting requires clear boundaries, loving discipline and random acts of off-the-wall crazy."

"Ignorance can be cured, but stupidity is forever."

The naughty step

'Please stand by. You have temporarily lost your picture. Broadcasting will resume when you have finished your homework.'

24 Hour Curfew - No Grandchildren under the age of 16.

'Look for one that says it's good for washing mouths out with.'

"They may be very comfortable, but you are in the military and supposed to wear boots, not flip-flops."

Different Perspectives on Childcare

'I sure hope this 'timeout' thing is just a phase with Mom.'

Before she disciplined a student, Principal Helen Edelman played recordings of previous visitors to her office.

'Look at this room! I've warned you kids about rough housing. Where's Tommy?'

'Teachers' Dreams.''Did you just say F***? Care to repeat it so everyone can hear you or is even a four letter word beyond your abilities? ... And the state expects me to make you multisyllabic.'