Discipline Warriors Pillows

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

'And quit referring to your room as the rehab center.'

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

KAWAII T'AI CHI

"Sure, money may be imaginary - but at least it's got everybody imagining it."

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

Bureaucrats held up by the workers.

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

'What a bunch of control freaks!'

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

"Ted doesn't test well."

Too much homework: kid with two backpacks.

Science Snobs

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

Examiners.

"Cut down on the Ho-Ho's."

Graduating students asking for cash donations.

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

It took a while but Henk finally did lose his Christmas bum.

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

I will not waste chalk kid...

'All this knowledge going into my head, through my eyes and out the window to float forever in space.'

"Extreme? Maybe. But I have the best behaved school in the district."

"Don't make me resort to alternative questioning techniques."

"Croissants? Donuts? Chocolate? Good price, madame! Good price!"

'I'll pause for your moans and groans.'

I'm Aging Gracefully...so SHUT UP!!!

'Dad's old school teacher was really strict. He still has to go back every night, to finish his detention!'

Academia Can Kill By Degrees

'Don't be tempted, Mrs. Root, just mail those apple fritters right here to me!'