Discipline Warriors Gifts

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

'And quit referring to your room as the rehab center.'

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

"Sure, money may be imaginary - but at least it's got everybody imagining it."

KAWAII T'AI CHI

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

Bureaucrats held up by the workers.

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

'What a bunch of control freaks!'

"Ted doesn't test well."

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

Too much homework: kid with two backpacks.

Examiners.

Science Snobs

"Cut down on the Ho-Ho's."

It took a while but Henk finally did lose his Christmas bum.

'I'll pause for your moans and groans.'

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

"Extreme? Maybe. But I have the best behaved school in the district."

I will not waste chalk kid...

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

"Don't make me resort to alternative questioning techniques."

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

'All this knowledge going into my head, through my eyes and out the window to float forever in space.'

"Croissants? Donuts? Chocolate? Good price, madame! Good price!"

I'm Aging Gracefully...so SHUT UP!!!

'Dad's old school teacher was really strict. He still has to go back every night, to finish his detention!'

"I can never remember whether children are to be seen and not heard or the other way around."

'Don't be tempted, Mrs. Root, just mail those apple fritters right here to me!'

Academia Can Kill By Degrees